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hi there

You'd never realise you've already belonged to the dark side.

me

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16 June 2004

Now after 19 years of my life, i've finally solved the mystery.
Mystery: How did i become so f*ed up?

Solved: My family.

Now, this might be the same root solution that i had before, but i am finally enlightened.
The denial of having a might-reconcile family.
We are hopeless.

How i found out: My sister showing her denial in-my-face.
Well, of course, as much as i hate my family, i love my family and deep down i might(?) hope for a happy ending.
However, listening to my sister and her BIG hopes (and plans) for my family, i have come to realise and i am snapped back into the cruel, sinister, pessimist, refreshing reality.

I feel alive now. Nothing wakes you up more than a tragedy (in-the-making). My eyes are bright and shiny.
I might resent myself and think i caused everything (like in storybooks and soap operas and sweet valley high books) but i should know better than to torment myself again and again.

AM i even making sense? I know now that the only happy ending that'll ever come true is my own. I will have a happy in-between and end.

Quote For Today: Everybody is mature enough to do what they want.

~ { 8:19 PM }
drops of jupiter