Love was not meant to be miserable

He used to care
He used to get me a seat on the train
He used to want to meet me every spare moment that i had
He used to call to say he missed me
He used to come to my house just to see me even if only for a while
And he'd never let me go when i walked off

I shouldn't have to cry to sleep at night
I shouldn't have to restrain myself from messaging him just to let him miss me
I shouldn't have to be the first to say good morning and good night
I shouldn't have to fight for his time with his friends
And i shouldn't have to go out alone

Things have changed
I just want to let you know that i have truly given up

He has told me that his work is the 1st in his heart now.
I shouldn't have to make a sacrifice like this
Guess i'm just sitting and waiting for the end to come and i predict it's near

It's 6:30 now on a public holiday
We quarrelled because he wanted to buy a $40 golf bag that can hold 4 clubs so that he can go to the driving range with his buddy

I do not like his friend
I do not like the fact that he has no money but it seems both of them want to take up golfing
I do not understand how he can go golfing when he can only meet me once a week

So it seems he did not like being ticked off like that
Says i don't respect him
Says i embarrassed him
I don't care

6:30pm on a public holiday and i'm home and typing this entry
What a way to spend my time
Did i enjoy my day with him?
I honestly do not know
All i know is that he had let me go and now i'm home

Love was not meant to be miserable
I should not have to be near tears at this moment.