Are You Evil?

Sprouting Horns
Well, you're kinda evil. They haven't reserved a place for you in Hell yet, but the leasing agents are starting their calls. (Sorry, no air conditioning.) We're guessing you find others' pain funny, your backstabbing knife is probably pretty sharp. If more than one of those three things rings true, consider yourself a card-carrying evil person. If you're interested in recanting the evil thing, sensitivity counseling isn't a bad idea. Or else at least consider finding a more sadistic career, like being a bouncer or a meter maid. But hey, to each his own, and if your evilness fits, wear it.


passive aggressive
Don't feel too bad about hiding your anger. At least not right now. When your spleen ruptures from internalized stress, then you should feel bad about it. You know, passive people act that way because they're ultimately sweet and don't want to upset anyone. While that may work for the short term, you'll end up looking like a real back-stabber when you, uh, actually stab someone in the back. Try dealing with your problems right away, and you probably won't have to renew your concealed weapons permit this year.


black hearted
We're not going to say you're a bad person, but you're toeing the line. A little advice: Try to think about how your victim will feel before you pull your next dirty prank. You may be under the impression that cruelty is funny, but your friends don't — especially the ones who've been burned by your verging-on-evil ways. Listen to your conscience from time to time, okay?